Turning Point?!?!

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my “Daddy Issues.” It is my favorite post out of all of my rants on EOTM, as it was the most honest thing I have ever written. Over my 26 years, I never allowed myself to openly feel much about my father. I refused to allow myself to cry, laugh, think, wonder, or ponder about a person I did not know. However, I secretly wished for the acknowledgement from this person I did not know. That’s all I ever wanted.

On February 18^th, I got to stop wishing. It was a whole day of first for me that included my father. It was the first time I had a conversation with him since I was nine years old, which just happened to be the first time I met him. Friday, February 18th was the first time we took a picture together, the first time I heard him say my name, the first time we shared a drink together, yet more importantly -- the first time he verbally acknowledge that I was his child or at least the first time that I heard it. Needless to say I was an emotional wreck for part of that day, well really all day. I was a big ball of emotions ranging from happy to elated to confused, all at the same time.

I don’t know what happens now with my father, not sure if I can google how to develop a relationship with your father. Honestly, it really would be nice if I could. I have no idea what I am doing here, lol! I never have had a father. However, I am open and receptive to wherever this path takes me. This is a turning point, my moment in life…

A

...From Someone Else

Today one of my “email buddies” and I were stalking, I mean talking lol, about Mop Top Maven’s amazing site. We were lusting for it and plotting on how to steal, well everything about her. Lol…But we were also admiring how beautiful she was with her natural hair. My friend responded with a lovely message …

“Kind of like my good friend A. You were definitely pretty before [with my perm] but there’s something more there now. Idk how to describe it. Maybe it’s a glow that comes from being confident and taking better care of yourself! Natural hair requires such a commitment and it becomes a whole lifestyle.”

WOW!! Talking about knocking my socks off…however once I got over the shock of her thoughtful words, I realized she was right! I totally agree with her…I AM PRETTIER, MORE BEAUTIFUL with my hair in its natural state. I honestly do not know what it is that provides this newfound “glow” or confidence, but I believe that I have a healthy self-acceptance of me. My natural hair has made me say, “This is me, this is who I am and I love it!”

These unexpected words from a friend came right at a time of frustration, stress, and confusion. The message in these words from my friend, gave me 10 seconds of self-reflection to regroup myself and let the confident woman that I am re-emerge. These words from someone else erased the brewing doubt, anxiety, and fear away.

Sometimes I guess you just need to hear it from someone else… :-)

A