Thursday, July 5, 2012

When the Lights Went Out?

On Friday, June 29th, I was laying in bed freshly showered – practically depleted from the activities of the week. My plan was to lie in bed and watch Bill Maher as I drifted off to sleep. Yes--I know it was an action packed Friday night fit for a 27 year old, lol! After chatting it up with KJ for an hour, I hopped onto Twitter one last time. Much to my surprise, I began to see tweets such as “Praying for my folks in Baltimore & DC” and “DMV stay safe.” Completely baffled, I continue to read my timeline until I saw a tweet that said “Thunderstorms with 91 MPH winds headed towards DC & Baltimore.” YIKES!!

Just as my Twitter timeline had predicted, the storms arrived. However not only did they come, those storms showed up and SHOWED OUT! For the first time in my life I was genuinely afraid of the sound of thunder and the strikes of lightening. I asked Jesus to be roof protection and a generator for my house and drifted off to sleep. *Chuckles* When I awoke the next morning, I learned that millions of homes in the area were without electricity. Thankfully, I still had power and the roof was still attached to my house. I guess God heard my prayer, lol!  I went to grab my phone to do my customary morning social media check and noticed that my iPhone was not loading. I grabbed my iPad, and nothing. I turned on my television, nothing. My internet and cable services were out--obviously affected by the storm.

And so it began—what would ultimately be several days without telecommunications services. What in the world was I going to do without Internet access? I NEEDS my Internet!! No, really I do! I own thousands of dollars of Apple products that are useless without Internet. The days continued to pass with no Internet, no cable, and no phone. Every night I would come home and lie in the bed and end up going to sleep early because there was nothing else to do. I could have organized my other bedrooms that are in disarray. I could have hung photos that I have been meaning to hang. But I didn’t do either of those things; I went to sleep. Until last night.

Last night I really thought about what the lesson could be in this. Why did the Universe strip me of these distractions for a few days? What should I be doing instead? It hit me--and just like that…I started it. I started what I had been putting off for months, maybe even years. I am not ready to share this thing yet, but you guys will find out soon, I promise. And I kid you not, within 15 minutes of my starting my delayed task; I heard a familiar sound – an iPad alert! My internet was restored. Then I turned on the television and there was Usher dancing around my screen on VH1Soul. Ha! The Universe is funny. God is funny. I just had to take that step and act.

During your moments, hours or days without electricity or internet, did you stop to think about what you could be doing instead of complaining? Did you play games with your children? Talk with your spouse? Make a plan for the future? Walk/Run a mile? Finish a book? Did you do something? Anything?! Sometimes the Universe has to take drastic measures to get our attention. Last Friday’s storm caused major headaches and uncomfortable situations for many, but maybe it sparked something inside of you. Nature snatched away everyday luxuries that we often take for granted. And I, for one, am glad that when the switch was flipped back on, I wasn’t in the same place that I was 5 days ago. I hope you aren’t either!

Here’s to our new journeys!


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Timing, Timing, Timing

We always hear the cliché saying, “timing is everything.”  Timing, timing, timing…

Today was Father’s Day – a holiday until this year was never on my radar. Growing up without a father figure, I never celebrated the day.  This year Father’s Day would be different,I had decided to build on the momentum of my budding relationship with my father and send him a gift.

After consulting with my mom, sisters, several closefriends, and family members, from my father’s side, I had decided on the perfectgift. Last weekend, I sat down in my basement with my boof boof (best friend)and my mom. We gathered pictures from every stage of my life to build a 20-page scrapbook. There were pictures from every stage of my life – birth, elementaryschool, middle school, high school, proms, graduations, college, major birthdays, my 1st home, etc. The last page of the scrapbook was ablank page that simply said, “To be continued…” 

Sample Pages from "The Scrapbook"

Timing, timing, timing…

The days the scrapbook was in the possession of FedEx, I was a nervous wreck. The fear of rejection and the thought of disapproval of the gift were making me sick. I was literally sick for two days. Despite thereassurance from everyone, I was preparing myself for the worst.

As I looked back over my journey with developing the relationship with my father, it started around the time my grandmother’s health began to deteriorate. Eighteen months later, on the 1-year anniversary of mygrandmother’s passing, I was celebrating the marriage nuptials of my littlesister. My grandmother is gone. I am celebrating with my father’s side of thefamily. My grandmother is gone. I am celebrating with my father’s side of the family.  I had to keep repeating it to myself, because it was truly a surreal moment.

Timing, timing, timing…

All my life, I looked forward to the moment that I could knowmy father’s side of the family and develop those relationships. The more Ithought about it God timed it for my relationship with my father to spark atthe perfect point in my life when I would I need it the most. In order to fillthe void left by my grandmother’s passing, God gave me a whole new family.  

On Father’s Day 2012, my father called me to thank me forthe scrapbook and to say that he was extremely pleased with the gift. **insert huge grin ** He loved it! He loved my gift! I am so blessed that I am beinggiven the opportunity to start this journey. Hopefully from this point forward, I won’t have to document any major life events in a scrapbook. We can both continue this journey together!


Thursday, February 2, 2012

You Gotta Have Faith?

Sometimes in life, it seems as though everything in the world just goes wrong. One thing after another -- nothing in the universe seems to be going as planned. Yesterday, a loved one told me that they had “hit rock bottom.” When I heard those words escape the lips of their mouth, I instantly thought, “rock bottom, hmm.” Yes their current situation is stressful and not ideal, but rock bottom? I didn’t think so.

When things don’t seem to be going your way and nothing seems to be going as well as you hoped, it’s the universes’ way of grabbing your attention. Sometimes it can be something small like a broken ankle or not knowing how the bills are going to get paid. Every action in your life is happening to make you aware of something that needs change. Maybe God needed you to sit and be still, hence your broken ankle. Or maybe God needed you to appreciate what you currently have in your possession and end your need of wanting more, so there is not enough money to go around to cover your bills.

In my young life, I have learned God takes you to a situation to deliver you from your situation. It seems like things keep getting worse, but in the midst of that turmoil could be your next blessing. If you know me, you are probably reading this thinking this post uncharacteristically “religious." :) However, my elders taught me to not only have faith in God, but to also continue to work in God. One cannot have faith if they worry. Faith cannot exist harmoniously with doubt. When trouble comes, don’t get frustrated and give up – I encourage you to have faith and know that your next blessing could quite possibly be on the other side of the obstacle.


Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

- Hebrews 11:1 KJV

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Who’s Having Good Sex?

Everywhere I turn there is a conversation about sex – Who’s having it? Who isn’t? Is it good? Is it wack? The desire for more sex: in both quantity, and more importantly quality, seems to be lying under the surface everywhere I turn. Seriously! There is not one conversation that I have had with a single girl friend recently that did not make a turn to our need for consistent good sex. There seem to be so many single women with unfulfilled needs. Old man winter finally showed up and there is no penis meat in our beds to keep us warm. I mean really: Where in the hell is the BEEF? Lol
It seems both men and women are affected by this shortage of quality relations. This past weekend, in two separate conversations with friends/associates, I was blown away by their admissions of having lackluster sex lives. 
The first of these conversations lent itself to an acquaintance suggesting that he doesn’t get head from his fiancée on a consistent basis, and that when it does occur, it is lackluster.  I was thinking to myself, “Wow, a woman can get a ring without giving great head?...” I was truly in a baffled state. It was like he told me he saw pigs fly. It just didn’t make sense to me.
In the other conversation, a friend admitted that her ex-boo thang, proclaimed that his favorite sexual position was missionary.  HOW BORING! The whole table let out a simultaneous deep sigh that was drenched in condolences. Now we see why he is an ex, right?! Lol!
Is anyone having good sex? Can you have mind-blowing sex and a good relationship with the same person? Or does one have to choose good sex with someone temporary over an amazingly healthy relationship? Why can’t both be achieved with the same person?
Or is the real question: Is lackluster/boring sex better than no sex at all? I am not quite sure that is a question I am ready to tackle.

Friday, December 30, 2011

2011, What a Year!

I am sitting at my desk so bored out of my mind and thinking back over the year 2011. With two days left in the year, I can say, without a doubt, that 2011 will be a year that I will never forget. I thought it might be fun to recap some of the most defining moments of the year. So here, I go…

Honorable Mention – The Que Centennial Weekend in DC July 2011 – That sausage fest was probably the most outrageous weekend I had all year! FUN TIMES INDEED!

#5 – Adventures with My Boof Boof – This past year I learned more about my best friend than I had in the previous 15 years of knowing her
. With every major life change that happened for me this year, she was here every step of the way.  Throughout it all we were able to have great moments of random fun. Weather it was traveling to ATL,
deciding randomly to purchase Janet Jackson tickets, her sitting quietly in the living room (*snickers*) or discussing home décor – there was always a fun time to be had.

#4 – Finishing Grad School – The thorn in my side for two years is now gone. What a glorious feeling to be done with school FOVEVER. I will miss those refund checks though! ::shrugs:: The finality of grad school will hit me on May 12, 2012, when I cross the stage. Come party with me, eh?

#3 – Milton – If you know me or have read my blog before, you know that my sperm donor has always been an issue for me. This year a major and much needed step forward was taken in filling what had been a long-term void. He and I do not really have a relationship yet, but I was able to get acknowledgement of my presence after 26 years. I’ll be curious to see what happens from here.

#2 – Operation 1135 -- On June 23, 2011 I became a homeowner. What a wonderful feeling it is to come home everyday to something that is all mine. Maybe in the future, I will share posts of my decorating adventures. Things are starting to come together nicely!

#1 – Granny’s Passing – June 4, 2011… Even though it was one of the saddest days of my life, the death of my Granny was also a major turning point in my life. Growing up I used to be terrified of life P.G (post Granny). However, Granny’s passing, albeit devastating,
showed me that I could and would make it on my own. I am who I am because of her love and dedication to me; it’s extremely gratifying to know that all of her sacrifices did not go in vain. RIP!

This past year showed me that anything is possible! 2011 revealed the depth of my faith, love, determination, and strength.  I am so excited for 2012 that I am bursting at the seams.

Here’s hoping that 2012 is even better than 2011!! Happy New Year everyone!


Thursday, August 18, 2011

...With Love

It’s been quite some time since I have done a post on here, but I feel it is time. The month of June was a rough one for me – I feel like life just snatched me up into a cyclone and just spit me out. June 2011 will be a month that I will never forget. I experienced one of my highest highs and one of my lowest lows within weeks of each other – the purchase of my 1st home and the passing of my heart!  I have written on here before about me caring for my grandmother while she battled stage IV endometrial cancer -- my grandmother lost that battle on June 4th. As I sit here and try to fight the tears from falling from my eyes, I must say that I dreaded the day my grandmother would physically leave me all my life.
I had been itching to get my 2nd tattoo for quite some time now and I knew I wanted it to be something dedicated to my grandmother. I tossed back ideas of combining her favorite thing in the world the butterfly with a cancer ribbon, yet it seemed so contrived and generic – not special enough to capture the essence of my grandmother or our connection.  As I was unpacking boxes, I found a card my granny had sent to me freshman year in college. The handwritten message was a simple note of her sending me some cash to last me until I came home for Thanksgiving and random hellos from the older ladies at church. It was signed Love, Granny.

My new tat!

The word love just jumped off the card and there it was -- Love….Love…Love!!! So simple, yet beautiful and exactly what our relationship was – a true example of pure unconditional love. As long as I can remember my grandmother was my foundation, she gave of herself so freely to afford me with my every want and need. She financed my entire education, and when I say entire I mean entire. She paid every tuition bill from Kindergarten until I crossed the stage with my bachelor’s degree from Temple University. She afforded me opportunities to travel and experience a life outside of the streets of West Baltimore.
Every single blessing my grandmother gave to me was out of love and with love. It only made sense for me to tattoo ‘Love’ on my inner wrist in my grandmother’s handwriting.  I was created from good stock and reared with love… Every time I look at the ‘Love’ sitting on my veins, it will just be a reminder that everything I do in life needs to draw from that feeling, that passion, that pureness of emotion. 
So to my Granny, I say…
“Thank You! I miss you terribly. I promise to make you proud!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Turning Point?!?!

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my “Daddy Issues.” It is my favorite post out of all of my rants on EOTM, as it was the most honest thing I have ever written. Over my 26 years, I never allowed myself to openly feel much about my father. I refused to allow myself to cry, laugh, think, wonder, or ponder about a person I did not know. However, I secretly wished for the acknowledgement from this person I did not know. That’s all I ever wanted.
On February 18th, I got to stop wishing. It was a whole day of first for me that included my father. It was the first time I had a conversation with him since I was nine years old, which just happened to be the first time I met him. Friday, February 18th was the first time we took a picture together, the first time I heard him say my name, the first time we shared a drink together, yet more importantly -- the first time he verbally acknowledge that I was his child or at least the first time that I heard it. Needless to say I was an emotional wreck for part of that day, well really all day. I was a big ball of emotions ranging from happy to elated to confused, all at the same time.
I don’t know what happens now with my father, not sure if I can google how to develop a relationship with your father. Honestly, it really would be nice if I could. I have no idea what I am doing here, lol! I never have had a father. However, I am open and receptive to wherever this path takes me. This is a turning point, my moment in life…